gobo_projection | IC INBOX

[It sure is in her brain. It sure is.

SHE'S SEEN WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING BUDDY.

But, that aside, Reira answers rather promptly. The safehouse status of the safehouse has finally ended, the home is clean, and-]

I'm at my house. All the animals are kinda confused since we had a bunch over for a while.

What did you want to ask?

Ah, I wanted to ask in person, but I guess this is all right.
Can I stay here for a while?
I'm at your house too. It's been safer, here.

[Huh. Well.]

Sure.

...Do you still wanna talk in person though, it's not really hard to do that if you're still here...

Yeah.
I think I'd like that.
Tell me where you are, and I'll come find you.

[If she thinks about it, in a house this big, that'a a fair statement.]

My room :0

Ok

[And, he'll knock on Reira's door.

He's still a minotaur. And, he's a little disheveled. He's put on fresh clothes, at least, if rumpled and too-comfy-for-the-public, and he's washed up some, but his hair's out of place, and the washing was more "deal with the worst so you don't smell" and less "be presentable." He's not presentable. He smells kind of like lion, and kind of like lotus, and a lot like the bare minimum.

It seems like Hill House feels like home already. He'd never be caught dead this un-put-together normally.]

[Reira's door, technically, is the playroom door. The consequence of how things were expanded and constructed is that Reira's actual room is forever removed from...well. Everything else.

But she's aware that it's the best Door there is, so she's already there to open it when Atem knocks-

...

Well at least he doesn't look...Miserable?

She moves aside so the minotaur can come into the playroom half; largely a shallow pit of plastic balls, jungle rope ladders and swings acting as seats for the TV stored on opposing shelves.

Shelves that, notably, act as the walls to the actual bedroom- the curtain acting as Reira's actual door is still parted to show the way forward, and thus, still parted to show that deep lake air-lock and window she's had for so long.

Following after Atem, she tries to keep things at least somewhat Normal.]

So...'s something the matter?

...h-heh...ha ha, of course something's the matter! Somthing's the matter all the time....

[His hands wrap around his upper arms -- it's not a strong folding of his arms, not putting up armor in preparation for a fight, or showing confidence and self-possession, but a self-soothing gesture. It makes him seem smaller, instead of bigger.]

...but, it's not so difficult, around here. It's too far from Bavan to be affected by the things limited to the city...and, anything that might cause trouble has the golem to deal with.

Has anything ever breached Hill House...? Caused trouble on the inside?

Mnnnn... [This is a concerning start to things.] ...Do you wanna sit an' talk about it maybe? Um. Here, or on the pillow pile?

[So she asks, before actually answering anything. She finds that she's suddenly a bit worried about what Atem might do with the answer.] A few times I guess yeah. Part of why Tsukikage made the spider pit the way he did was so it was easier to just shove someone in there until whatever happened some months wore off. And then, like you said, we have Chikage, and there's also exit doors....

[A point, to herself-] I learned to fight pretty good too, so that if powers go away, it's not so bad. Lots of stuff. Um...

Are you looking for somewhere to stay outside of Bavan for longer..?

...

...Do you really think...it's not okay, all the time?

[....he listens to her answer, then...goes to sit with her.

He nods, in answer -- both to her description of its security measures, and as a reply to her question.]

Yeah. Sorry, I know it's your home...

...but, I think Ryslig is a really awful place. Not just because of what we become, or what we have to eat...I could deal with that, if it played fair!

[He settles down cross-legged, slumped over his knees, with a sigh.]

But the way it is...it's going to destroy me. And the people who are part of my heart.

[Ball pit it is then. Reira sits down- hands grabbing her ankles as she sits crosslegged in plastic balls, fiber optics in her hair glowing gently as she listens. She listens carefully, and slowly thinks of what to say.

What she Can say, without making it worse, really.] ...In your home...

...Did things play fair, there? ...The whole world, I mean?

...I think it can be made really hard here a lot of the time. But, for me, the reason I can keep going isn't because of anything like 'it'll be fair', and stuff like that. Anything could happen, even tomorrow. Or now! ....but, until then, and even after then, I can still choose what I do. I can say, 'I'm going to read a nice book' or 'I'll have a hot drink'. And even if the book isn't that great, or the drink is too hot, I can still think about what was nice about that.

...but... ...I don't think any world really 'plays fair'. ...I know that probably doesn't sound good, but...that's why I focus on small stuff like this. Sometimes big stuff too I guess, since everyone needs a smile. But, mostly small stuff, that I can share with people I love.

...Um...

...do you want to watch a movie and talk at the same time, maybe? Like have it on while we talk?

[She's got an idea. Just a little one. But an idea.]

[Atem gives a loose, one-shouldered shrug. Sure, she can put a movie on. It doesn't matter to him either way.]

If you like.

[Focusing on the small things....that's cold comfort. It's not enough. It didn't stop Ryou from feeling that fear every time he left the apartment alone. It's like treating the symptoms of a disease that's ravaging your insides. He can't say he agrees.]

In my world...

...there were two kinds of rules. Ones everyone could break, if they put their minds to it -- and ones no one could break.

That's what I mean by fair. Even if someone else had an advantage...there was a framework I could rely on. But, here...if it means that I, or someone I care about, will suffer more intensely...the rules I can't break, break against me.

[He brings his knees up to his chin.]

In horror movies, it's not the monster who wins. It's not the victims, either. It's the audience...they're the ones who get something, from both the monster's defeat, and the victims'.

[She does that. It's an animated feature- a simple adventure through a world 'much like ours', so the narrator opens, before hopping right in. One of those musical types, that open in song.

Reira turns, and sits.] ....Do you still think the people who live here are 'NPCs' in a game, or do you think we're in a movie now? [she finds herself asking, looking to the other.]

....A horror, I guess. I don't watch them really, but it's hard to see this there too. If someone was watching, what would that even be?

I think we're in a machine. Or, at least, a magic mechanism designed for a purpose.

[He's modified his theory, as he's continued to observe. It's not a game, if the rules are an illusion, meant to trick you into complacency, or into taking foolish action. Therefore...]

I think Ryslig is designed to make its inhabitants feel pain and fear. But, I don't think it's a game. Not anymore. I think it's tightly controlled, by someone -- something -- that personalizes our experiences, to squeeze as much out of us as possible. I'd wager that that energy is powering something...but I don't have any idea what.

[The keepers of that machine, the ones who want the power generated...that's who he thinks is watching.]

A machine? Hmn. [It's unclear what her genuine thoughts on the theory are, but in any case.]

Do you think people would leave then, when it was done getting all the energy from them? Even with the people that live here the whole time, I guess? Those guys get pretty scared and hurt too, after all. Even when something happens for the first time...

...It can still be just as bad, or even worse, if it happens again later.

Edited (gently tweaks...) 2022-12-02 13:40 (UTC)

That's hard to say, without seeing the mechanism.

[Off the little animated adventure goes, tinny in the background.]

It might be an imperfect system, that can't hold onto everyone it catches...maybe some people aren't worth keeping anymore, because they don't get involved with the monthly events, and don't suffer enough, so they get thrown back.

[Yugi.]

And maybe some people just slip out of the net, back into the sea. [He waves his hand.] Maybe the people in Ryslig's suffering counts. Maybe it doesn't. But the presence of monsters increases their fear, doesn't it? The Fog God rewards causing them fear. The events are caused by us, half the time...and they make humans suffer, along with us.

But we don't get a free ride. We don't get to just be scary. We're batteries, too.

Mmm. Yes- for the Fog, the important thing is that humans keep suffering for what their ancestors did. Or at least what they apparently did. There's stories about how the Fog might've also killed Day and Night where she didn't have to, and maybe that's sort of true..? I mean... ...The Day and Night did some pretty mean stuff too. There's the bugs, whose first Queen used to be human...there's Mana, who's all cursed and has to kill her boyfriend when he's grown up again...there's the Silent Forest, which almost broke out, but then me and my friends sealed it again...

[..........................This is an impressive list.

In the background, the protagonist on screen is fussing over the best gift to get someone.]

For a machine like that...what would happen if there were pieces that just didn't really scare anyone, or get scared though, you think?

Usually, the ones who don't get scared would disappear.

[Yugi.

He sits back, leaning his weight on his hands, which prop him up behind him.]

If they're still here, and they don't do any scaring, though...

...

[He sighs.]

...then, they're part of what keeps the system sustainable. After all, if you only experience pain and fear that never stops....then, you get numb to it. Letting a victim rest, then renewing the pain...lets the torture go on longer, and it ensures the suffering stays sharp.

[Take it from him.]

The pieces that don't cause suffering take care of that part. It's why there are breaks, between fogs.

[Reira stares. She stares, and after a long, slow blink-]

...You asked me if my house was safe.

Do you believe me, when I say it is?

I think it's mostly safe.

...

[Let him clarify.]

I think that, if someone who had Ryslig's attention were to live here...circumstances would find a way to make them leave its safety. They'd leave of their own volition [baby Ryou,] or get a message asking them to come to Bavan. They'd get hurt, but, the fault wouldn't lie in Hill House.

And, of course, things like the bugs and the storyteller can get us wherever we are. There's no protection that will work against that.

But...as long as I'm here, I'm safe from most things.

[Oh...

Reira looks sad- incredibly so. Tilting her head, and looking down...she sighs.]

...Whether it's a machine or not... ...If I thought, 'as long as I'm inside, I'll be safe,' I would never leave. I'd never be able to do anything like go to school, or visit people I like...

...I think, in a way, that would be like being trapped somewhere still. A smaller cage, but...also a worse one, maybe. Like I'm ignoring everything outside that could ever be bad, or pretending everything outside could only ever be 'bad'.

[She is quiet for a moment.

And then, slowly, she moves to remove a ribbon from around her neck.

There is a scar there. Around the full diameter of the neck, ragged, messy, old. She has always covered it.] ...Bad things...Terrible things, happen. It's not okay. It's never okay. To be hurt, to see others hurt, to know others hurt.

...Part of why I don't talk about things like that, is because when you do, people hurt each other more. Maybe there's a machine. Maybe there isn't one. I want to think it's okay for Ryslig to just exist- if it can't just exist, I don't know where I can go in the end. This is my home- just as much as anyone who's been born here sees it as home. ...but, no matter what, if I said...'it's only ever pain'...

[Reira turns, and it's to the movie. Still playing, now to a cheerful tune.] ...You, and Sonic too...

...I don't know what I can say. The world is dangerous. It's messy.

...I wish I could help enough that the good in the world at least mattered more again. ...I miss when we could try to share that message instead.

[He takes in the scar, but...

...it doesn't really hurt him, to see it. It's old. It's Reira. She's a kid, she's elastic. She clearly bounced back.]

Ryslig isn't like other places, Reira.

There aren't many worlds where something designed to hurt us, something that uses information from our past, happens so often, so regularly. And, there's the strange coincidences, too...out of all the times I could run into people, it seems to be the most, or least, convenient. My powers don't work when I need them most. Others' get taken away, too...so that they can be hurt more effectively.

This might be your home. There might be good things, here. It might even be better than where you're from! But...

...you deserve to live somewhere that doesn't hurt you that way. [He nods at the scar.] Somewhere you don't have to worry about being kidnapped, or the secrets in your heart being used to hurt you. Just because it isn't as bad as some places...doesn't mean it's right.

[He straightens, to a cross-legged position, and looks down.]

It doesn't mean that this place won't break the people you love, who don't, or can't, navigate it like you do. And you won't be able to do a thing to stop it.

[Reira holds the necklace in her hands. She looks intently to Atem, and listens carefully to his every word.]

...I deserve to make 'home' a better place to live, [she whispers seriously, not looking away even as she shakes her head.] ...Because even broken, I won't stop fixing. I won't stop helping, or housing, or fighting.

...Even if it looks like I'm not doing anything at all. Because people have always lived here, and deserve to live better here too.

[With the tilt of her head, she gives a sad, broken smile.] ....I'm going to say something...and it's going to feel mean. ...but if I thought the way you did at home, when the end was coming...

Then the end would still be coming. And coming, and coming, over, and over. Because that was the rules.

...But I didn't like those rules- and even if it was because I didn't think I was a person, with a soul, who deserved to live, it meant I could say 'then I won't follow that rule'.

The chance is hard to find- it's not breaking. It's just a hole. ...But if I found one then, then I'll find it here, even if it takes me a long, long time.

[The smile breaks more, and she looks down.] ...And if it costs what it did at home... ...It'll be worth it, then. ...Even if I'd hope someone else paid it, there's a reason I had to pay it then too.

[He feels heavy, as he listens to that. What wouldn't he give, either, if he knew it would ensure escape...? He'd hesitate, before handing his life over, and he probably wouldn't trust that it wasn't a trick, at this point! It would take a lot -- a lot -- to convince him it would work.

But, if he could be assured of the trade...

...it would be tempting.]

There's no not following these rules, Reira. They can't be broken, here.

At least, not by us.

Not for us.

Just against us -- and for the monsters who like to cause pain.

[He stares at the pattern of the pillow beneath him, his eyes distant.]

I thought I could use that...I thought that was the price of making sure plans would work.

But I was just...used.

....Then...can't you trust that someone else can?

[It's a strange thing to hear perhaps, after everything else. She goes on though, leaning back herself.]

...I can't do everything. And that's okay. You can't either. That's okay. If you're tired, you rest. If you've tried everything, you take a break....even if that means not trying for a really long time.

[Reira is waiting, she said. She didn't say what that meant.]

...you know...we didn't even have a portal that goes home at all, a few years ago. ...Didn't know the sea of stars existed either. Or what was outside the peninsula. And sometimes those things had a cost. ....but sometimes...they also didn't.

I think, we really have made things change just a little- but the thing is...other people did that stuff. I'm out of ideas too. I can't do anything big anymore- people get hurt, [she emphasizes seriously.] But...

Without even asking, other people can still try after us. And if you can trust me to keep you safe here in my house, I think we can trust that even if it's not now, even if it takes some time...Someone who can break those rules, even just a little more, will appear.

...Atem. If the rules tricked you back...we need to not think about those rules, then. It's okay to just do what we need, and what makes us happy, in small amounts. We don't have to be afraid of that.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, CCC-REDHORSE. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 134.64.202.69 * CCC-REDHORSE has joined 134.64.202.69 <CCC-REDHORSE> This is Reira Akaba! <CCC-REDHORSE>I'll try to answer you but sometimes I'm busy or sleeping, so I don't think about the message right away. <CCC-REDHORSE>**(I might note old stuff down too...)

< CCC-REDHORSE >

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< CCC-REDHORSE >

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<Player1> > action, you took a perfectly good pharaoh and gave him depression

Tsk tsk tsk!

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cw torture discussion sorry reira

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CW: talk of past dehumanizing thoughts, potentially suicidal themes

more self-sacrifice/suicide themes! two of them!!

two of them....